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Astral Drama
05 March 2007 @ 07:03 am
The Magic of Music: Implications & Applications.  
First of all, I'm going to apologize to all of the few readers I have for not posting yesterday.  I was slightly occupied.

All things in this universe are energy that resonates at different frequencies.  I've already covered this in a previous post.  There are some things that directly affect those frequencies to a certain extent.  Sound is one of the strongest influences.  It's immaterial and must pass directly through material sources to reach us.  In fact, without solid material to transmit sound, it goes nowhere.  It relies on different elements to deliver it, and air and the intangible physical elements do much better to convey it than solids.  But that doesn't mean it's not traveling through other things.

There have been studies in scientific fields over the effects of magic.  Metal and classical, in that order, have the best effects on growth.  Tests have been in regards to the human brain, crop growth, and a few other things.  Plants subjected to metal over a protracted period of time grew to almost twice the size of the control group.  

What am I getting at?  Music is a powerful part of magic by its ability to modify the frequency of energy waves around you, especially immediately around you in the air.  

Different types of music tend to change the resonation in the air differently.  Everyone works better at different resonations, so find your own niche.  According to science, however, metal and classical seem to have the best effect.   I'm not necessarily saying that will apply to everyone, but it's a good starting point.

"Music" has the same word root as "muse".  I've already covered my tendancy to work with muses, one in particular who occasionally provides a few words that I directly apply to this journal.  Now is time to pass on a few things I've learned over time.

Muses tend to put their direct influence over a song (or other piece of work, but today we're covering music), and in essence instill a small part of themselves into the music.  In a way, this becomes a signature for them.  Playing music with the intent of finding or communicating with the spirit that inspired it is a good way to ensure they come to your location and resonate more closely with you.  But it is also to be approached with caution.  Don't abuse it.  Until you end the song in question, they can't really leave, they'll constantly be getting called back.  They aren't particularly bound into any sort of courtesy under this, so it's best not to abuse it.  And they WILL eventually get annoyed if you keep them by force too long: "STOP PLAYING MY SONG."

In general, music should best be used to find your magical center and strengths, and to directly communicate with the other side.  Just as scents and colors change their meaning for focus person-to-person, music tastes and resonance can vary.  As ever, it's all things you need to learn along the way.

I'd be more coherent in this post, but I had a long day yesterday and my brain is still rebooting.  If anything was unclear, feel free to ask in the comments.
 
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Astral Drama
02 March 2007 @ 07:12 am
Crowley: Genius or Douchebag?  

I've done some theory, now there's time for some theology and the ilk.

Much of the magical theory adhered to in modern magical practice is either influenced by or directly passed on from the words of Aleister Crowley.  He's probably the most influential magician that ever was in recorded history.  Many people carry out Crowley practices without even realizing it.

There's basically two current extreme movements amongst the community: pro- or anti-Crowley.  The latter is primarily amongst wiccans and new agers who seem to recoil and hiss at the very mention of his name.

I'm going to say right now, Crowley was a genius and it's because of him that magic is as popular as it is today.  But just because you're a genius doesn't make you right on everything.  Even Newton's theories were corrected and modified years later, but that's not discounting him as one of the greatest scientific minds that ever was.  But it also didn't keep Newton from being considered a douchebag to his peers, and I'm going to extend the same courtesy to Aleister: He was a Ingenious Douchebag.

I'm not going to say everything he ever did was wrong.  Without him, we would be without the Thoth - one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, tarot decks to date.  Some of his magical theory is brilliant and even I poke at his ideas now and then.

But herein lies the rub.

I'm a member of a two-person crew (the other member's blog linked in my profile) that jokingly calls ourselves PETA--People for the Ethical Treatment of Astrals.  We leave our homes mostly open (with rules and guards) to the comings and goings of the spiritual world; we treat spirits as business partners and friends as opposed to hostages for our desires; if something is made, we follow through with it and let it exist.

One of the biggest gripes I've had is in the way spirit work was influenced by Crowley.  A popular thing these days is to create a servitor (a small, subservient spirit made from your own energy that is usually assigned to a specific task), and once their work is completed, to destroy them "before they have the chance to disobey."  I've been accused of "being like an over-active pro-lifer" on the front of saying the servitors have rights, even if they're bound to you.  There's a difference between killing something before it lives, and killing something once it has lived and accomplished what you wanted.  One is a debatable topic I won't get into here, because that's not what this journal is for; the other IS murder.  Premeditated murder, even.  It's like having a baby then killing it when the government check comes in.  

I've never made something with the intent of a task.  However, one day I was practicing energy work; it was about a week before Samhain and a blood moon (this was a fact I didn't realize for a few days).  From it, a little spritely figure I at the time named "Autumn" (for the time of year, and she seemed very fairy-like) was born.  I gave her tasks she was suited for--gardening and tending to the lawn.  Not because it's what I made her for, but like any child they're best kept busy.  I've watched her grow from stage to stage, taking on various youthful appearances that suited her whim at the time.  But she was still my Autumn.  She used to ride around on my shoulder all the time, sometimes tugging at my hair.  She was her own person from the day she was formed of the ether.

She's grown a lot since then; she's stronger, smarter, and can wander off on her own now and then without me worrying.  But I still treat her like a daughter and worry about her.  She's never really hurt me or betrayed me aside from a few stubborn ideas of "I don't want to".  But that's part of growth.

Now to imagine if I had destroyed her--to never let her come to be.  To have taunted with life and provided death.  That is fair to nothing and no one.  And beyond that, as Luci has said--like with children, as they get older they begin to reflect you.  Creating spirits of this sort is "a way to ensure you live on forever".  

So why? Why destroy your legacy?  Because you fear one day they'll say no?  You're the big baddy wizard, shouldn't you be capable of pulling in the reigns without destroying them?

The big baddy wizard--that's another problem I have.  It's a phenominon that has overwhelmed the magical world.  Each and every magician is the god of their world now.  Nothing can hurt them, nothing can do ill to them, and above that, everything magical that exists is but an extension of their OWN psyche, as opposed to them being a piece of the universal psyche.  They summon demons and then abuse them to get what they want under the justification that each is just a different part of their own mind.  But if you, the summoner, are the almighty force with no limit to yourself, why need you even summon to achieve anything?  You're summoning yourself to cage yourself to get yourself to do something?  If a small fragment of you can do something, wouldn't it be so much more effective to just do it yourself? Or can you, perhaps, admit that you can not do it, and that you are requiring the help of an outside force?  But in admitting it's an outside force, you lose your right to use and abuse them.

It's an argument I've gotten into many times, but people are so swayed not only by crowley's teachings, but by watered-down and twisted versions of them that they can't seem to get that idea into their head.

Crowley has basically been the founder of abuse of spirits and of egotistical and arrogant practices which ironically deny the very presence of spiritual beings, at this point.  I've been told by practicioners that there isn't even a spiritual plane--that it's all things they think up.  Well, then, what the fuck is the point?  None.  You're doing the same games then that you did as a child.  You put on your robe and wizard cap and go on your merry way pretending to be a hero.  

Spirits are individuals too.  They have rights just the same as you do.  As magic is a force of will, if you piss them off enough they CAN hurt you.  And beyond that: it's been said that those that deal in demonology carry a black mark.  Is it any small wonder when popular demonology supports: summon, cage, threaten, demand, threaten, demand, receive, bind, banish?  Hell no.  Word travels fast on the spiritual plane like it does anywhere else, and it's no stretch of the imagination to even begin to understand why you would carry some sort of blemish from this behavior.

The only difference between angels and devils is angels are law and devils are freedom, potentially chaos.  The free are not necessarily evil, but they can be.  Demons can be good or bad, and if you are unsure which they are, avoid business with them.  You don't do business in the real world with people you can't trust, so why do it on a plane you understand even less? 

I dislike Crowley.  Yes, he was a brilliant magician, but he was also a douchebag and a propagator of some of the worst practices to date.  

Whether it's Crowley or some unknown writer, approach anything and everything you read with caution.  Just like in the physical world, there's a lot of bullshit out there.  It takes good presence of mind and intuition to know where to go and what to believe.  Just because someone is famous or smart doesn't make them right.  So... just be careful out there, lest you piss off the wrong person.

And beyond all? Treat others--physical or spiritual--with respect.

 
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Astral Drama
01 March 2007 @ 10:26 am
And in a final post for the day: Feedback.  
I've noticed a small handful of people have already friended this journal.  This is good, considering it's only on the start of its third day.  Regardless of if you have it friended or not, if you're watching this journal, I'm asking a question directly to you.

You clearly have interest in my ramblings for some reason.  Is there any subject in particular you want to see?  I'm here to help people along their path.  If there's something I can do to give you a hand, tell me.  

Just post in reply.  Not just now, but any time.  This is basically an open discussion journal.  You can comment at any time about anything you want, but preferably regarding the subject in the post -- which is why I'm going to leave open posts like this now and then.

I'd also like feedback regarding my writing.  This journal is intended to make magic and magical theory accessible in clear, crisp english without all the confusing mumbo jumbo you find in books, without the fluffy-bunny syndrome in many sites regarding angels or more new age practices, and with an openness of mind to the people who comment regardless of if I've seen it myself or not.  I want to ensure I'm making it through to my audience.  So please, help me, and give me critique. 

And beyond everything, spread the word.  Post it on forums, give it to your friends, or put a link to it on your webpage.  The strongest means of acquiring and passing on knowledge is word of mouth about a souce!

I think that's about it for now. Until tomorrow!
 
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Astral Drama
01 March 2007 @ 07:46 am
Visualize: Energy Work  
This is something I probably should have first covered, but I'm not necessarily known for my coherency. So let me tackle this now, while it is a topic on my mind.

Almost any occult-involved site mentions energy work, so I hadn't yet found it crucial until I realized that for the sake of continuity I'd rather reference my own posts than someone else's writing. And as energy work has been mentioned a few times before now, I think it's time to give people a start.

The first practices to involve oneself with are grounding and centering; it doesn't get much more simple than the name provides: you ground yourself to an energy source and then center the drawn energy in your body at a useful point for you.

Everyone excels at different areas of energy. But first, to utilize energy work, one must be aware of the constant flow of energy in the world around us. All things are composed of energy and live off of energy; even the air we breathe is energy. There is energy we can't see floating on the spiritual plane - loose energy, energy as thoughts, and more. This universe is energy.

The point of grounding yourself to a larger energy source is to use it like a magical battery. You have expendable energy, but the universe is nearly limitless. Using the energy around you limits the tiring effect of magic and allows for better effects by rooting yourself to a larger source (see my theories on the nature of the universe and distortion of time/existance by mass).

With that in mind, a beginner needs a starting point to know how to draw in this energy. Typically, this is done through visualization. Finding your element can be a key point, but to do that you need to experiment. I will provide a few elemental examples, and it is up to you to find your niche.

Earth: You are a tree. Your feet are your roots. You wish to grow into the sky, but to become tall, you must acquire energy. Feel the energy pulled through your feet and circulated into your body. Your hands are branches; if you wish to center the energy in your hands, picture the energy flowing through the branches and budding leaves and flowers. Feel the energy pulled through you; keep your mind active and focused on drawing energy from the earth. You needn't even be on actual solid earth for this, as the energy of earth pervades the world. To become aware of your limits, stretch your mind to truly understand the limits of your branches, and the expanse of your roots. See how far they reach into the ground--and intend to grow them longer with experience. Fall into awareness of the limitless expanse of the earth and the weight it bears.

Air: You needn't even imagine yourself as the air. All you need to imagine is a glow in the air. The air is energy of its own sort. Draw that energy in through your extended hands in a standing pose you are comfortable with. Have the energy twine around you with your focus. It'll be a while before you manage to draw physical effects, but with practice you'll be able! Use your mind and will to pull the air into you before centering it as you like. Air is very maleable. Do with it as you wish. Spread your mind across your room or area until there is no further to go, testing the feeling of the very air around you, the resonations that traverse through it and the memories it holds.

Water: Water exists around is even if we're unaware. It's in us, in the people around us, in the air and more. To better influence your grasp of the water-energy flow around you, imagine yourself in a rapidly flowing stream, yet rooted to the ground. Meditate on this image--feel the waves crash past you and the bubbles brush over you, the water actually flowing through you and some becoming a part of you. Water, while maleable, can be prone to extremes. Feel both the peaceful rush as you will the energy through you, and the chaotic surges like a storm as your body digests and centers the energy.

Fire: Fire is the most volatile element, but exists in many forms around us. The most common is the sun, but solar grounding also works on a level of spirit/ethereal energy and can be considered "high level". I've only used the sun as fire myself, so try it if you like: First, imagine yourself at the core of the sun, and then expand your awareness through the sun. As you feel the immense waves of heat and energy seeping through you, become aware of the expanse of the sun. Expand your mind until you feel the limits of the sun and the difference of the offshooting energy compared to the dense, hot core. Soak in the light and life of the sun.

Spirit: Spirit elementals are otherwise "non-elemental", with forces like the moon or general light. I don't practice this as often as I do fire, so these are for you to discover.


Notice in all of the above, it involves testing your awareness of your limits and awareness of the source you are grounding from. You are connecting yourself to a larger source to pull energy for your own use, try not to abuse this! Invocation has much the same affect but can be volatile and I suggest being familiar with the entity in question before even thinking of invoking. Invoking is an advanced practice, anyway, and it's far better to start with basic grounding. Basic grounding can also be used to help recover oneself after a magical attack or other effect that seems to have mentally drained you.

Centering one's energy requires understanding the flow of energy through one's own body. Keeping in mind the glow that comes with absorbing energy, place your hands together at the palms. Similarly force your energy to circulate as you forced it to be drawn into you. Initial results are minimal, but you will eventually come to feel the energy running through you. Pass it from one hand to the other and back through your shoulderblades before coming around again. As you become comfortable with this, gradually spread your hands and force the energy to jump hand to hand before completing the circuit. Continue to spread your palms until they are a basketball's width apart. Once you are comfortable with this, you will be capable not only of centering the energy you absorb anywhere on your body, but putting it to use outside your body by placing it into objects or simply making energy constructs; spheres are the simplest and strongest, so if you do start, try with spheres.

In focusing the energy into any one point, ensure that it listens to your focus and takes on the shape, size, and stability required. This is harder than it sounds, so don't be surprised if it fights you. Keep up your focus and willpower and it will eventually listen, onr way or another. It fighting is actually good, early on. It allows you to test your focus to its limits and let you know what you, yourself, are capable of.


Energy circulation is important to chakra work, and your ability to see and understand the energy is greatly aided by experience in auras.  These three practices are all complimentary of each other, so be sure to read the posts in question thoroughly.


Eating is a nice way to ground oneself back to the physical world once you are done with any practice; the body tends to find itself drained and depleting your energy resources, so it is very natural to become hungry after a magical session.  Eating basically roots your body back entirely to this world while replenishing resources your physical body needs.
 
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Astral Drama
01 March 2007 @ 06:44 am
An apple a day: Chakras, for spiritual and physical health.  

If you are already involved in the occult or are planning to enter the field soon, do not forget to clean your chakras.  Especially if you are pregnant, nursing, or hoping to become pregnant soon.  Cleaning your chakras is important to physical and spiritual health, especially if you are involved in the magical world and exposing yourself to more outside energies. 

To expecting mothers: Cleaning your chakras is a good way to ensure a healthy baby, physically and spiritually.  Many spiritual problems in the mother pass onto the child.  It is failure to keep up a daily chakra cleaning that can cloud the growing child's mind and lower their spiritual awareness.  If you want a spiritually aware child, clean your chakras daily.  That, or live as much like a stick in the mud as you can.  The former is probably your better option.

To everyone else: You don't need to clean your chakras as frequently, as you don't have to worry about passing things off onto an impressionable fetus.   A good rate of cleaning is every few weeks or so.

In case people don't even know what chakras are or how to clean them:

Chakras are energy points in your body.  You have seven.  From a side view, a chakra looks like a cone with its point plugging into your spine to receive energy.  It is best to think of these as color coordinated to differentiate what they mean and which ones they are.  Becoming familiar with what each chakra means and mentally assigning a color to it helps to peg if any are out of line or order.  That requires immediate attention.  




The Chakras; name, color, function, location, visual:

Root/Muladhara - Red - Instinct, survival, security - earth.  The root chakra is located in your groin between genitals and anus; it is said it related to the adrenal glands.  The symbol is a lotus with four petals, triangle and square in the center.

Sacrum/Svadhisthana - Orange - emotion, sexual energy, creativity - water. The sacral chakra is located in the groin near the stomach; it corresponds with genitals more actively.  Symbolized by a lotus with six petals and overlapping circles in the center.

Solar Plexus/Manipura - Yellow - mental function, power, control, freedom to be oneself, career - fire.  This chakra is related to transition from base to higher emotion, energy, assimilation and digestion, and to the pancreas and outer adrenal clands.  Symbolized by a lotus with ten petals and a simple down-pointing triangle in the middle.

Heart&Lung/Anahata - Green - devotion, love, compassion, healing - air. The heart chakra is very important for feeling existential fulfillment.  An imbalance of energy leads to dissatisfaction. This is the immune and endocrine systems.  Symbolized by a lotus with twelve petals centered with a hexagram.

Throat/Visuddha - Azure Blue - speech, self-expression - life/sound. The throat chakra is communication and growth, growth being a form of expression.  The thyroid gland in the throat is responsible for growth and maturation.  When the throat chakra is agitated people lose touch with feelings/sensations.  Symbolized by a lotus with 16 petals centered on a down-pointed triangle with a circle inside.

Third Eye/Ajna - Indigo - intuition, extra-sensory perception - time/light - Ajna is linked to the pineal gland, the chakra of time and awareness of light.  The pineal is light-sensitive and produces the hormone to regulate instincts of sleeping and waking.  Symbolized by a lotus with two petals and a down-pointing triangle.

Crown/Sahasrara - white or violet, may assume color of dominant chakra - connection to the divine - space/thought - the chakra of consciousness, the master chakra.  Similar to the pituitary gland which connects to the central nervous system via hypothalamus; the thalamus is thought to have a key role in the physical basis of consciousness.  Symbolized by a lotus with a thousand petals and located above the head outside of the body.



If you visualize differently than this, that's OK.  It's just the general and "common" way to view your chakras.

Personally, I visualize them each as an egg, starting at the root since it's the base of energy to the body.  I crack each egg open, bottom to top (root, sacrum, plexus, heart, throat, third eye, crown) and proceed to wash my own energy through them after letting out as much dirt and grime from it as comes naturally; use the visualizations provided to help you locate them - if you can't seem to find them, they may be out of place, so search and align.  Take your time on each one by willing your energy through yourself to cleanse them, there's no hurry.  One at a time from bottom to top, and once you reach the top, proceed downwards to close them all back up again.  Keeping fresh, clean energy in chakras promotes health and awareness.

If you're unaware how to cycle energy, it's the basis of energy work.  Use your mind and will to pull the energy naturally circulating through your body into and through the chakra, like controlling a current.   If this still gives you trouble, reference my post on basic energy work.

You can even do this while doing other things--if you have a desk job, take some time and work on them while writing or typing.  It's not that hard.  And it gets easier with practice, like all things magical--especially if you actively practice energy work and aural exercises.

Not cleaning your chakras while dealing in the occult can lead to auric problems or physical ailments.  As Luci once said, "his aura is painful to look at; I sometimes hurt just from looking at the boy."  regarding someone close to me who's plagued by physical and spiritual ails due to not cleaning his chakras regularly.  Don't let the same befall you.

And even if you're not involved in other areas of the occult, little harm can come of good spiritual upkeep.  Chakra cleaning is something well-advised to everyone, really.

 
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Astral Drama
28 February 2007 @ 09:40 am
It's SHINY: Auras are our friends.  
So you want to start poking around at the occult? Don't know where to start? I can provide a few basic guidelines and safety measures to take, but after that it's up to you to find where to go.  

First of all, you need to raise your awareness to even think of poking around.  One of the starter pieces I always tend to give people is the presence of auras in our every-day lives to become aware of the constant presence of energy IN our lives.

Aura work is simple, people tend to make it seem and sound overly complex.  It's best done for beginners in a dark room or in the dead of night.  As auras manifest as light, using a dark and solid background keeps the sunlight from drowning it out.  

Do you have your nice dark space?  A few suggestions are a night sky with a solid tree line and no light source (I live in the asscrack of texas, so this is an easy find for me), or a dark room with only a single source of dim light.  

If you take the outdoors route, you can begin by observing the energy around you; a tree line has a nice glow to it.  Don't know what I mean by glow? Look harder.  You will find that there is a visible band of light against the dark night sky, as if the sun hadn't quite fully set.  In fact, ensure you're well into the night so you don't doubt this or use this excuse for yourself.  The more you watch, the more aware you become of this band of light, and the broader it spreads.  

This is just the start of our grasp of auras.  You have one too.  A dark room lets you observe this.  Have your back to the light source so it does not cast directly upon your hand.  Then, place your hand about a foot from your face.  You should see a similar band of light, or in the very least a distortion, around your fingertips.  Move your hand in and out and watch how it reacts to movement.  Curl your fingers.  Test it however you want.  Then, once you understand that concept, apply it to trying to view other things in your room.

It's quite easy really!

Seeing auras is a basic tool to becoming aware of your surroundings.  Start exercising these practices to your other senses too, especially hearing.  You'd be amazed how much you tune out on a day to day basis! This alone, exercised regularly, will raise your awareness to your surroundings and make you more astute to the presence of what we call the "spiritual world", although due to my previous post I don't like to divide the two for a variety of reasons. I'll cover what it means to "read" auras another time.  For now, awareness is a nice start.

I will cover energy work in another post, as that is something people should get to after they begin working in auras, in my opinion.

The basic dos and don'ts of magic:
- Do have faith in yourself.  Magic is the force of will to manipulate free flowing energy in the universe.  The stronger the will, the stronger the force.
- Don't be an idiot.  Just because you have faith doesn't make you right.  You can still stumble into potholes or piss off the wrong entity.
- Do feel free to explore.  If you're reading this journal you're sitting on the largest information node in the world: the internet.  Research and find what your niche is.
- Don't believe everything you do find.  Use common sense.
- Do share your experiences with others, but be careful.  Nonbelievers can be harsh.
- Don't be a douchebag.  Spirits are people too, and if any source tells you to abuse them to get what you need, you're going to the wrong people (I'll cover this in another post, some time).
- Do trust your instincts.  It's what got humanity to survive this far.
- Don't jump to conclusions without having material to back it up.  The best way to prove that something exists is to first try to prove that it doesn't exist; if you can't prove it as nonexisting, that will suffice. 
- Trial and error.  Hopefully more trial than error.


And that's about all I can think of, for today.  Tomorrow I'll further cover the nature of my family, some basic theories on the difference between angel and devil, and more.
 
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Astral Drama
28 February 2007 @ 04:33 am
I fucking hate math: the nature of the universe and what it means to the magical world.  
Okay, before I go into my early-morning tangeant, I want to lay something out here.

People--anyone is free to comment in reply to this journal or contact me.  This isn't just here for me to ramble at the world, it's here for me to grow and to help people grow.  The best way to do that is through communication.  Tell me what similar circumstances you've been through if any; tell me your interest in the occult and I'll see if I can help; tell me your ideas on my theories or ways they might be bettered or clarified.  This journal is nothing without the people who read it, so your input is more than welcome.

I don't tote myself as any kind of scholar.  I'll admit right now that I never got past an eighth grade education due to a variety of real life conditions.  My beliefs are subject to mild tweaking as in going through life you acquire new data you hadn't yet seen.  Usually the general concept remains, but some details may be tweaked.  Put in your input, and see where it goes.


All right.  I'm going to begin simply:  All things in this universe are a manifestation of energy.  We have a visible range of known energy, and some invisible energies.  The energy that is light, and color, has ranges outside of our perspective--in general we label these "infrared" and "ultraviolet".  So, we as humanity are already aware that our eyes have limited perception. Beyond that, there is "dark matter" and "dark energy" that we have yet to understand beyond the fact that it is making the universe expand.  It is thus far outside of our range, and hasn't been able to be studied.  Only half of a percent (0.5%) of the universe is visible to our eyes.  That leaves 99.5% to still be studied, if it can be by us at all. 

In this vein, let me expound upon everything being made of energy: Everything in this universe resonates at a different level.  There's different levels to physical resonations, even, and then we have liquid and gas.  The base understanding we have about these energies is that the faster something moves (and the hotter it is), the less solid it becomes; the actual arrangement of this energy (that is, its atomic structure, which also works on a level of energy) varies the structure into the various forms we know: in solids there is a huge variety, alone. (plastic, metal, wood, and any variety of tangible, solid components.  I could list these forever.)  

Are you still with me?   I know that seems like jibberish, but bear with me.

If we as humans are aware that everything is composed of energy and that we have limited perception of energy, we actually aren't that far away from admitting that there can be those entities and existances that we don't understand.

Okay, stop.  Rewind.  Some people may have a problem with it at this point, but let's make it simple: If spirits are manifestations energy just as the rest of the world, they can very easily be resonating on a level we are unfamiliar with.  There is a reason that those that deal in any area of the occult do training exercises to work on their awareness; something as simple as aura perception is nothing more than reading the energy that is being cast off by an object or individual -- this energy manifests as light of some sort, and I'm sure we all know it is not the only time energy has manifested in this manner.  The sun and stars, bolts of lightning, or the very glow coming from your computer screen as you read this.  Yes, energy on a certain level is light.

Back onto spirits: With our limited visual perception of the universe, we are disinclined to agree with anything of the supernatural.  But therein lies the rub: is it really "supernatural", or just a level of the universe we don't understand yet? Beings resonating on an entirely different level.  We know solid, liquid and gas; we know of energy.  But do we know to what ends these can reach?  If all bodies produce energy and if all physical objects are frequented by passing energy, by nature we collect and store energy before leaking it off.  We do not see this energy, but we know it exists.  Seeing an aura teaches you how to see this energy and come to better understanding; and, also, to see the auras of the noncorporeal beings that surround us.

One problem comes of viewing auras: as everything in this universe is made of energy, everything has an aura, living or not.  We have limited perception of auras for good reason, lest we be blinded on every day tasks.  I've been in an area where I couldn't see but two feet before my face due to the sheer energy floating around that place.  Now imagine if this was how it were day to day.  We locked away this ability -- became purposefully oblivious -- for the sake of survival.  It's not as surreal or supernatural as anyone thinks; it is an innate ability that all humans (and potentially all living beings) possess but chose to ignore for the simple fact of plausibility.

I will approach how to read auras in a nearby post.  For now, this is the general science of the universe as we know it.

If I approach "spirits" as biological entities of their own sort, some may say I am limiting them.  It's well known that many spirits can exist in multiple places at the same time.  So let me approach that.

When you stand beside an elephant, it already stands before, behind, and above you.  It needn't move to get much of anywhere at all.  This is much of how it is when it comes to spirits.  Typically they have a much greater presence than we do.  The very idea of omnipresence and omnipotence that the Christian God portrays is implicit of a being as large as space and time itself, and thereby knowing of all events coming and going simply by existing in and outside of time.

Now is when I approach time.  I used to think of "time" as a dimension we traveled through based upon size.  This theory half remains, but has been pieced together the more I understood general science.  Einstein had a theory of time and space and relativity that said about this much:  
"Distance and time are not absolute.  The ticking rate of a clock depends on the motion of the observer of that clock;  likewise for the length of a yardstick. He proposed that gravity, as well as motion, can affect the intervals of time and of space. The key idea of general relativity, called the equivalence principle, is that gravity pulling in one direction is completely equivalent to an acceleration in the opposite direction. A car accelerating forwards feels just like sideways gravity pushing you back against your seat. An elevator accelerating upwards feels just like gravity pushing you into the floor.  If gravity is equivalent to acceleration, and if motion affects measurements of time and space (as shown in special relativity), then it follows that gravity does so as well. In particular, the gravity of any mass, such as our sun, has the effect of warping the space and time around it. For example, the angles of a triangle no longer add up to 180 degrees, and clocks tick more slowly the closer they are to a gravitational mass like the sun. Many of the predictions of general relativity, such as the bending of starlight by gravity and a tiny shift in the orbit of the planet Mercury, have been quantitatively confirmed by experiment." -Nova.com, slight edit for brevity.

Does your brain hurt yet? Good! Someone to share in my pain!

I have once gone so far as to actively feel the pull of acceleration and gravity, although by no means on purpose.  I'll approach this, also in a seperate post so as to not clutter the theory up, but let me say it was quite unfun.

To the point: This is a brilliant theory.  Space and time is relative, and what time does exist is little more than a distortion.   The gravity we traverse through is little more than a distortion in time caused by mass.  In this, when an astronaut heads into space, his watch returns a few minutes slower and behind what it once was.  Away from the heavier gravitational pull of earth, most astronauts have gone to the moon or thereabouts--still within range of gravitational pull, not even withstanding the mass their ship or own bodies imply.

What am I getting at?

Were we to find some way to go into deep space -- away from our current solar system and star -- time would pass much slower.  The universe is a mass of stars and other celestial bodies that exert a pull over the universe, so time itself is laid thinly across space.  But, were we to get into a space so deep and dank that no star's pull reaches us, in theory we would still age, if only over eternity; we have our own mass, as would whatever vessel we use to get there. Einstein started this proposition, but as it was unprovable did little in the area of explaining the effects of gravity on the universe as a whole.

Where am I going with this?

An unfinished part of the equasion that was given to me.

When enough force is applied to an object with enough mass, that object will appear to vanish from space and time. We've observed the effects of the force of accelleration, but not enough to see this yet.  Force creates its own type of gravity in regards to an object's mass & acceleration.  Regardless, it is not that the object truly vanishes.  The object continues to exist outside of our time spectrum.  For how long, I am not sure--likely until the force ends, and by that point as it would be free of the gravity caused by time, it could be anywhere as we know it. This object has basically had enough force added to the mass to create its own field in time and defy the current distortion to work on another level entirely.

What am I saying in this?  Creatures of great energy capacity are capable not only of understanding the relativity of space and time and using that to their advantage, as per the time/space proposed by einstein--but they may be quite capable of blipping from our view of time entirely by the application of force. 

There is really nothing I can do to prove this.  I'm terrible at math, and this was passed on to me.  If anyone is willing to help me piece together a formula I would be more than happy to see this passed on elsewhere, and so forth.  I just know the logistics of it, and the final piece regarding force that I was told.  

All things are relative, as proven by Einstein himself.  But it is this understanding of relativity that lets us come to understand what existance we do have.  What other worlds lie out there on levels we are unaware of, on planets or stars that have such a different balance of gravity/time?  What affects do these have--on themselves, and on us?  Astrology says the rotation of the planets and the stars in conjunction with us affect our every day behaviors -- our society and everything on this earth.  We observe the tides changing with the pull of the moon, but what affect does that have on us with so much water on our bodies, too?  The relativity of time is not exclusive to earth's pull, as many other systems with their own considerable pull exert their pull upon the earth.  In that, astrology is not magical so much as it is scientific, if we think to approach it by means of time distortion and affective upon the human body.

Basically, what I'm saying?  There is a whole new world out there.  We can't actively grasp all of it as long as we live in these human bodies, but we can open our eyes and begin to understand what surrounds us, what affects us, and why and how it does.  I don't mean to tie up the universe in a neat little bow.  I know there are some things I won't understand within this lifetime, but I do know that I might be able to pass these thoughts onto just one person, and change the world for them.  And that's all it takes.

I have more to post, but my brain is reaching its limits in regards to composing this all right now.  

Summary: Time and space are relative; Gravity is time, a distortion in time is caused by great mass; mass equals distortion in time, so we are our own distortions; force applied to mass causes disappearance from the known/current time continuum; beings of great mass (even energy) with great application of force due to great mass can exist in multiple places at the same time, or none at all; such beings already have a time distortion of their own with size provided.

There's more to it, and people are free to poke at this and turn it over.
 
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Astral Drama
27 February 2007 @ 09:49 am
My little demon: What Xelloss means to me.  
In my previous post, I already covered that it was Xelloss that drew me towards one of a few select and important people in my life.  I've been able to talk with her about everything, and on certain matters she's been more accepting than I could imagine in my wildest dreams.  Together we've worked on projects, artistic and spiritual.  We've gone through a lot of extremes, but most of all... we've just been there when the other needed it. 

Xelloss is a fictional character from the fantasy show "Slayers".  I would like to state right now that by no means do I think there is an actual Xelloss walking around, or at least not in my experience.  I will say, however, that Xelloss had some inspiration; from the same source as chaos from Xenosaga, Haku from Spirited Away, and a few others.

I work with what could be called a muse: A spirit that influences my writing, art, or anything else.  This muse is not exclusive to me and vice versa, but he is the one I work most frequently with.  I call him Luci.  A friend of mine also works with him and has another name for him.  But that's another topic entirely.

My ideas of Luci changed as I grew.  I initially thought he was a split-side of my brain, sort of like a multiple personality complex.  While writing, I could literally feel the division between my lobes and feel one side cranking so much faster and on just an entirely different level than the other.  I had a tendancy to typo the word "Brain" as "Brian", and so, for some time, he was called Brian.

Brian only became his own force as I became more aware.  A character mused by him damn near talked to me from a picture one day I needed it most.  I could literally and figuratively feel myself pulled up through it.  That was when I knew he wasn't just part of me-- he was someone close, who had been around and cared for me.  I decided to rename him, as it wasn't right to call him "Brian" any longer.  He wasn't my brain.  He was his own being.

I was all but deaf spiritually at that point.  I mostly had sudden spurts of sight and sound that came and went.  I strived to find a name he would have wanted, but all I kept getting was the visual of a night sky and a lone star.  I named him Twilit, for "Twilight".  Another half of him I had become opposed of - a twin, if you will - I decidedly named "Zkie".  Twilight Sky.   

(Let me note here that "Zkie" is a very quiet entity, very easily missed.  I by no means want to imply he is unimportant in my lack of mention of him, he simply tends to lie low and in corners until he has his business.  He is as important as "Twilit" or Luci, he just won't come up in topic as frequently).

It took me a while to realize just how much he'd influenced me in his life.  So many characters I was fascinated with resonated with him, and beyond that, it was his very character that led me to the woman who became my tutor and girlfriend, and beyond that I later found to be my sister.  But that's another tangeant entirely for a different time.

He was drawn frequently--as his character, and as himself.  He's a friendly guy, if even mildly impish, but that's why we love him.  

He remained as "Twilit" for some time in my life.  My friends were quite aware of his presence too: everything became innuendo when he was around, and his grin was all but palpable in the air when you could tell a pun was on the tip of his tongue.  Like I said, he's a little imp.

He had a clear-cut connection to Asmoday due to a variety of circumstances, and in the end we decided it was some strange father and servant role both.

I took to actually using him as a roleplaying character.  By no means did I intend to imply he was fictional, but with my limited hearing, I had come to realize I best understood him while I was writing.  So, to write as him as opposed to a character her plays out as an actor would--how best to come to know him?  

It was through these times that I began to know him as "Luci", a name inspired from the blue.  It was mostly made in pun, considering Zkie was so close to him but so quiet at once.  Luci describes him: slightly effeminate, flamboiyant, friendly, and a good guy; Ferous is quiet, somewhat brooding but reliable, and somehow the name just clicked with him.  No, he is not Lucifer, so I don't know what possessed me to call them Luciferous, but it was so.

I was beginning to have suspicions about me--of myself, my position in all of this.  Not covered in this post for the sake of continuity is the general spiritual drama that tended to circle me.  Nothing of cataclysmic proportions, but enough for me to know that it was abnormal.  I then found an interesting piece: on tape, in my childhood, I interacted with a blue glow repeatedly which did not shift or change by camera angle and did not agree with any idea of the natural lighting; even more astounding, there were clear-cut markings and an eye, just as he tends to have: a lone eye, fanning markings.  I paused, replayed, rewound and repeated many times and even showed it to mother and boyfriend.  Indeed, it was there! My mother decided it was an angel of some sort; my boyfriend knew who it was immediately.  He knew Luci.  He was familiar.

Later, channeling sessions began; in these, he revealed a lot to me: about myself, and my past--theories I had been building, and overall my general place in the universe.  Three different practicioners have confirmed me as part of the family: one psychic, and two medians--one speaking as Asmoday and the other as Luci, marking me as Luci's sister and Asmoday's daughter.  

As it is, through Luci I've been encouraged to tackle life head on, leave behind the rough past and approach an unknown future; I'm tackling a project or three that I consider too big for my head, but I have him there.  It'll be OK.

And beyond that, frequent conversations now are leading to more knowledge of past, present and future: including the reason for my rough infant years.  But this is a topic to be handled another day as it includes so much more information. Also, I'm holding back slightly on things like, who I discovered Luci to honestly be.  That may come out some time or another, when I'm more comfortable with this journal and get a better idea of what they want me to talk about.

My little demon, what Xelloss means to me.  Xelloss was the mask Luci was wearing that day--that day I picked up a series called Slayers and found myself immersed in a fantasy world based off of the actual occult, which got me investigating--which led me to my sister/lover--which led me away from a bad situation and to where I am today.  I am sure he has many more places to take me, and I'm willing to go.

I think more people have muses than they realize.  There is a big spiritual world out there just waiting for everyone to open their eyes.  They have all the time in the world.  They're patient.  They're willing to let you come to them when you're ready.

My little demon took my on a path of self-discovery and improvement.  What can yours do for you?
 
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Astral Drama
27 February 2007 @ 07:00 am
Hi. My name is Minerva and I'm crazy.  
That's how it used to feel anyway.

Before I say anything else, I'm going to find a starter point:
This is a journal on the nature of the occult, and the nature of the occult in my life and in those around me. I tend to deviate from "traditional" views in the occult, and if your mind is not open to another viewpoint, stop reading right here.

Okay?

Okay.

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes. This journal is going to cover a lot of strange experiences. I know they're strange. But I do know they're not as unusual as people think they are. I'm not going to say I'm the reincarnated Cleopatra. I'm not going to say I'm here to save the world. But I'm going to say some things that are typically frowned upon within the traditional occult community. Example: I work heavily in the field of demonology, primarily with but not restricted to goetics.

So let us get to know each other, shall we?

I began practicing around the age of 18, although my interest extends far beyond that. A series of strange events encircle me and the people I know. Let us begin, literally, at the beginning.

I was a scientifically impossible birth; my mother had severe endometriosis, one ovary, was labeled infertile and beyond that was on male hormones; my father had an erectile dysfunction, was marked as sterile, and had one testicle (quite a match, eh?). My mother was completely unaware she was even pregnant for some time. The doctor even refused to believe it until she had an ultrasound, "Not only are you pregnant, but you're well on your way."

At that time, the effects of male hormones during pregnancy were debatable. The doctor was worried over some sort of defect and insisted on an abortion adamantly. My mother refused, and was actually harassed by phone about it. My birth was botched: I should have been a C-section but I was forced out the 'natural' way. In this, I was deprived of air and my skull was crushed in, leaving an awkward and disfigured child. Delivered as a freakish blue-purple, that was only the beginning of my trouble. I was quickly diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.  I was unable to perform any of the basic functions a child my age could have: things as minor as sitting up, rolling over, or basic limb function.

Continuing from that--Within my first year, the following happened:
- When taken in for an MRI, an infant is prone to movement, and so my mom was given sedatives to give to me.  She looked at the vial, and had a thought: it seemed a little much for a baby.  When inquiring to the pharmecist, she looked horrified.  "Lady, if your baby took that, she would never wake up again.  That's enough to knock out a 200 lb man!"
- A heavy food allergy resulted in a fever of over 107 and an emergency trip to the hospital.  This was one of many severe cases, but the only one in which I was packed in ice.  I repeatedly became plagued and violently ill in my early life.
- My mother and I were in a car crash.  She lost all her teeth, suffered a concussion and abrassions, and a variety of other severe but non-fatal wounds.  Me, in the backseat, all crunched over from CP--I was completely unaffected, as happy a baby as ever.  "My baby, my baby!" "It's not your baby we're worried about, it's you.  Your baby is fine."

And the most influential of that time, following those?

- My mother was a devout Christian and frequently held prayer groups and bible studies at her house.  Being a good mother, she kept me close during these sessions.  One day a woman told my mother that I was to be healed.  This of course made no sense--Cerebral Palsy is uncurable as we know it.   My mother spoke that, that entire day I was staring happily at an empty chair despite usually being an attentive child; despite suffering from motor disability, I wasn't mentally handicapped, in the least.  Within a few days of that, not only had my skull rounded out normally on its own, but I was already beginning to sit up et cetera on my own--things I had thus far been incapable of.  When I was taken in for my checkup, the doctors asked, "Is this the same child?" utterly confounded by the idea of the condition then compared to a few weeks prior.  They had no medical explanation for it.  My mother was steadfast in saying "god healed her", but as scientists, they could not take this for an answer.  To this day there is no explanation of it, but it also remains in my early records.

Not long after this, there was another unusual event:
- My father and mother's relationship had been getting rockier; my father was a verbally and physically abusive man.   While my father pulled over at a payphone, my mother and I remained in the car, I still an infant.  My mother said a handsome man with blonde hair approached my father first, "You're going to lose your family." he said, without provocation; my father had been acting normally at that point, in the least.  Naturally my father became irate, but the other only responded, "if you keep this up, you will lose your family."  The strangest part of this is that my mother said that, in approaching the car, he fell prostrate to the ground praying; my mother inquired where this strange fellow went to church.  He pointed towards the top of the nearby mountain, saying his home resided there.  My mother persisted, well aware that settlement barely ascended the mountain much less near the top, but the fellow was adamant.  With that, he left, leaving a confused mother.  
It was that day that the final straw broke the camel's back and we left California forever.


Given, these clips of the past may have some minor inaccuracies.  Due to my age, I can only go by what my mother told me and what my medical records portray in relation.  But I know for a variety of reasons she can not be lying.

My entire life as far as I can recall, I've been surrounded by the unknown.  As young as five years old I was telling my mother, "someone is watching me."  Five is, actually, as far back as I remember save for a few instances: a different sky through the eyes of an infant, the frozen clock as time stood still to a toddler.

As an adolescent, I constantly was fearful when in anything vaguely church related--which was sad, because it's what most of my life was composed of; Christian private school, church on sunday and wednesday, church retreats.  There was something that disagreed with me there.  It's not necessarily that I disagreed with the doctrine, but that I felt the very church did not want to tolerate my presence.  It was so bad that on retreats I avoided the spiral staircases because I had vivid visuals of being tossed over them, and the elevators because I felt that it would go in a plummet.  I didn't suffer this elsewhere.  I ended up pent up in a room until the retreat was over.

As I got older, my awareness improved, but not necessarily for the better.  Due to being doused in heavy prostant christianity, I interpreted all things spiritual as bad.  The house made sounds--I was scared.  I saw images--I was scared.   It got to such a point that I couldn't be left home alone, and in the rare instances I was, mom would find me in a worsening state--once so far as to be curled in a corner holding mace and rocking.

I wanted to get past my fear.  I began investigating the occult, but had little if anywhere to start.  I developed an unnatural fixation on a certain fantasy TV show by the name of Slayers.  I don't know how to describe it, but a certain character not only snared my interest but just about nailed it to the floor.  His name was Xelloss.  An impish, mysterious and ambiguous priest with a mildly flamboiyant flare.  I became obsessed-- I had hundreds of pictures of him on my computer and the collection continued to grow.  I'd never really had such a fixation on anyone before, real or fantasy.

I ended up looking into the magical references in the show, and found the goetia and scattered hermetic references through it, amongst other things.  At that time, I didn't really have the know-how to tie it all together.

It was through Xelloss that I found my niche.  Late at night I was surfing fan comics for slayers and found one that particularly suited my fancy with Xelloss as a main character--less villainized, more ambiguous.  I ended up contacting the artist.  That artist has become my best friend.  My girlfriend.  A lot more.

Fancy that, she had a goetic pantheon around the same individuals.  She ended up teaching me a lot in the ways of the arcane.  Initially, it was just parallel interest: we translated the charts, deciphered meanings and found the correlations.  But I ended up "officially" getting into the occult through her.  It was an instance of some accident, some subconscious need: I ended up foolishly summoning the goetic "Ipos" before I was ready for anything of the ilk, and this began my path.

I won't go into details about Ipos.  Not in this entry, at least.  But she ended up pointing me towards another influential figure that I had felt tugging on me for some time.  His name is Asmodeus.  Asmodel.  Asmoday.  And he is my father.

It mightn't make sense; I didn't pick up on it initially either.  And there are still so many "why"s and "how"s.  What I do know will be expanded on in this journal.  What I don't may eventually come up and be recorded.

Asmoday made himself known almost exactly nine months before my birthdate--which happens to be in the month of Asmodel.  This didn't register for some time, I actually realized it when considering what my zodiac sign would be when working from conception and not birthdate.  I nearly smashed my head off the table in realization.  Other things link in, too: Film of a similar figure in my early life actually caught on tape, and more.

These may eventually be discussed, but I am here to say:

I am Minerva.  I am daughter of Asmoday and proud of it.  I know I am not alone.  While I am nothing of world-bending proportion, I am here for a reason; a reason I am yet to discover, but a reason no less.  I know there are those like me out there, I have met one already.  She is my sister, my girlfriend, and my lover.  

Half of me writes this journal just to get things off my chest.  The other half searches to see who else has a similar history. 
 
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